Our Baby

We lost the baby. 

I feel broken. 

I have a hard time talking about it out loud. I find myself either overcome with emotion and can't get any words out or in a numb haze and I have no words at all. Since writing has helped me in the past, I thought I could try to write out everything I'm feeling. For the benefit of those that care about us and want to know, as well as for those that may be struggling with something similar, I have opened up here about this really personal experience. Hopefully this can help someone, at the very least just to know that they are not going through this alone. 

Getting to Pregnancy:

As many may know, Robbie and I have struggled with fertility for the past couple years. We have dreamed of becoming parents and having a baby to love for a really long time. It seemed that it just wasn't in the cards naturally. We tried on our own for a year and eventually decided to see a fertility specialist at Utah Fertility Center in Pleasant Grove. 

This past year has been filled with lots of doctors visits, books, fertility treatments, hormone drugs, IUI procedures and more. Despite all that, every month we got the phone call from the fertility center saying they were so sorry, but it was another negative. We dealt with some pretty serious emotions, but got through it. We thought and prayed a lot about what to do next. We talked about adoption and even went to an adoption information meeting, but still felt like it wasn't the right time. We finally decided to take the BIG step. We had saved some but continued saving up for a few more months and started the IVF process this past July. Up until that point, through all the rest of those treatments, I found myself sad and upset every time we got a negative pregnancy test, but there was always this light at the end of the tunnel. I knew we still hadn't tried IVF. We waited because of the expense and the emotional and physical toll it would take on us, but we always knew it was there. Almost like, if nothing else worked, we still had that and it had to work. We had heard so many success stories that we just believed deep down that it had to work. It was the absolute most we could do and we were both committed to doing anything we could. 

 It was a hard but really exciting month. I took a lot of medications and started giving myself injections daily, sometimes four per day. I visited the doctor a lot, some weeks having appointments every day to check the status of our follicles and how they were growing. We had 15 healthy follicles growing. At our egg retrieval on July 25th, they were able to take out 12 mature eggs. Over the next 5 days they fertilized them and watched them grow in a petri dish. We knew that a lot of eggs don't make it through this fertilization and maturation process, so we were just hoping and praying that we would end up with something, ideally that we would have enough to freeze extras for later attempts. By the time we arrived at our Transfer Day on August 1st, we had two mature embryos remaining. We were thrilled that it was enough to implant this round, but a little disappointed that we didn't have any extras. It made us very aware that this first try needed to work. But we just kept telling ourselves, all it takes is one. One embryo can become a baby. 

After our Transfer Day, we had to wait ten days before we found out whether or not the embryos took. Those ten days were TORTUROUS. August 11th would be the day, and it couldn't come fast enough. I declared to Robbie that since it was such a big day, it was also the day we could celebrate our third anniversary. We weren't able to celebrate it on July 28th since I was right in the middle of the most intense part of our IVF process. I had myself convinced that we should celebrate it the day we got the results from our pregnancy test because if we got a positive result, we could celebrate it all together and if it was negative, I would have something to distract me from the guaranteed devastation that would follow. It probably wasn't the best decision but luckily, it worked out. 

I will never forget the moment we found out. We had both been getting ready for our big night out. I hadn't heard my phone ring and when I came back in my room, I saw that I had a voicemail from the fertility center. This was it. I just walked blank-faced over to Robbie and wordlessly held up the phone. Since he was clearly confused, I just said, "We have a voicemail." We both sat down on the bed and stared at the phone for a minute, afraid to push play. Finally, he said, "Ready?" I nodded and he pushed it. All the words on the voicemail seemed jumbled until we heard the word "positive" and then we lost it. We threw our arms around each other and just cried. It finally happened. We were finally pregnant. We could barely get a handle on ourselves. A baby was on its way!

Two weeks later, we had a 7-week ultrasound and were able to hear our little one's heartbeat. It was so fast, but so strong. We were just all smiles and couldn't believe we were finally here. We got a printout of our little bean and looked at it all the time, proudly showing it off every chance we could. 

Just days after our ultrasound, the time came for our big move to South Carolina. Robbie had gotten a new job at GE Healthcare and was expected to start September 14th. We decided to make a road trip of it so after a few days of travel, we arrived at our new home on September 8th and got settled in. Since so many of our friends and family knew about our pregnancy back home (since our IVF procedure was pretty public) we decided not to hide it here. We were about 8 weeks along when we arrived and had no signs that anything was out of the ordinary. My pregnancy seemed relatively easy. I did find I was tired a lot and got more emotional than I should about different things, positive or negative, but I didn't get sick or nauseous at all. The lack of nausea did make me a little nervous just because I couldn't feel anything telling me I was pregnant. I didn't have any physical proof, but a lot of people don't experience nausea so I pushed it aside. All in all, I was happy and excited. 

The Loss: 

It started Monday, September 28th, the start of my 11th week of pregnancy. I was feeling fine and had been running errands for most of the day. Around 3:00 I went to the bathroom and noticed that I was bleeding. At first, I pushed the worry aside. I'd heard that you can have some light spotting through your pregnancy. But then I started to get nervous because it didn't look like light spotting. I texted Robbie and he told me to call the doctor right away. 

I don't even know our doctors yet. I was supposed to have my first appointment with them the next day (Tuesday). I called in and at first the secretary said that since I technically wasn't a patient yet, she couldn't give me any medical advice. I just repeatedly asked her, "Could you at least give me some idea if this is normal or if I should be concerned?" Finally, she asked me to hang on for a minute. When she came back, she asked how much blood there was. I told her and she said, "Can you get here in the next 30 minutes?" I told her I'd be there in 10 and hung up. This is when my real fear started. I texted Robbie as I walked out the door, telling him they asked me to come in to check everything out. He called me back as I was driving and said he would meet me there. He had gotten permission to leave work a little early to go to the DMV and an eye appointment but said he would come to me instead. Despite my fear, I told him it was probably nothing and that he should just go to his appointment. I'm so glad he didn't listen. I could not have done this alone. 

I met him in the lobby and we both had some panic on our faces. We held hands and walked quietly to the elevators and then into the office. After filling out all their paperwork, they took us back to the ultrasound room. I laid there just praying and pleading over and over in my head that everything would be okay. When the screen was clear, I saw our beautiful, sweet little baby on the screen, and nothing else. No movement. Even before the technician said it, I knew. There was no heartbeat. I heard Robbie gasp and start to cry. I just covered my mouth and sobbed into my hand. 

I have never known heartache like I did in that moment. It is physically painful. I couldn't breathe, I could only cry. Our beautiful baby, the baby we had prayed so hard for and wanted for so long, was gone just like that. 

The technician said he/she was measuring at 8 weeks and 6 days (too early to know the gender). Since I was in my 11th week of pregnancy, he must have stopped growing two weeks before. I racked my brain trying to remember what had happened two weeks before. What had I done that day? How did I do this? How did I end this little life? I felt so heavy with responsibility. I couldn't protect him. He was gone for two weeks before I even knew. I'm his mother and I couldn't do anything to help him. 

The rest of our visit was a blur. We walked from room to room, wherever they directed us, taking care of all of the business that happens after you miscarry. There is so much business. It felt like we were walking around for hours, just in this tear-filled, blurry haze. We spoke to the doctor who advised us to do a D&C surgery immediately to remove all "products of conception." Even those words broke my heart. Our little one was reduced to a "product of conception." He was kind about it but it just hurt. Robbie just asked him what could have happened. What went wrong? He answered that it was likely a chromosomal abnormality and there was nothing we could have done to prevent it from happening. I wish those words could have lightened my heart, but it was still heavy. I still felt responsible somehow. Even if it wasn't a conscious behavior that harmed him, my body couldn't give him a safe place to grow. I felt broken, like my body was broken. I couldn't get pregnant. When that miracle did finally occur, I couldn't stay pregnant. There is a disconnect there and I don't know why. 

The following morning we went in for our D&C procedure. It was a long day, 12 hours total, at the hospital for a procedure that only took about 45 minutes. It was a lot to deal with. The only thing I want to remember from that day is Robbie laying next to me in the bed and holding me while we waited. 

Tender Mercies: 

The past two days have been some of the most difficult I've ever faced. I know deep down that Heavenly Father has a plan for me and for Robbie and for our children. It's so hard to understand what that plan is right now, but I know it's there. One thing that has been made clear to me though is that even if I can't see His plan, I can see His hand in all the details of the last two days. He has never left us, even for a moment. He has sent me small moments of tenderness and love when I have needed them the most. He has filled both our hearts with His tender mercies. 

The greatest of His tender mercies to me is my one big pillar of light--Robbie. He has done nothing but hold me and cry with me since we found out. He hurts just as deeply as I do, but he is so concerned with comforting me and helping me cope with our loss. I will be eternally grateful that through a true miracle, he was able to be with me in that ultrasound room. I've found through this journey that it's so easy to get sucked into thinking about what we don't have, but when I take a minute to stop and think of what I do have, I am blown away with gratitude for my love. I never in my life thought I would find someone who could love me for me. Someone who would understand the complexities of my many emotions. But Robbie does. He is my companion and my best friend through all of our ups and downs. He is the one that makes everything okay, even when it seems to be impossible. Whatever comes, I am so grateful to have him by my side.

I have also felt so much love and support from our families. I have never known the value of our call to "mourn with those that mourn" until I found myself on the receiving end. Nothing could be said to take away this pain, so no one tried to. Those we love have just taken it upon themselves and cried with us. They love us so much that they have shared in our heartbreak. They have actually felt it themselves. And I know they would do anything they could to take it away. In fact, both sets of parents immediately offered to fly out and be with us to help us cope. I couldn't be more grateful for all these amazing people we are blessed to call our family. 

In addition to these huge support systems, we have also been blessed in so many small and simple ways. One example from today was a friend of mine that happened to be passing through Florence on a family vacation. She stopped in to see me, bringing a grocery bag full of snacks and treats, and sat with me. She had gone through two miscarriages before having their sweetest little boy who is now 9 months old. She brought him with her and surprisingly, being with him and playing with him became a form of healing that I didn't expect. It was so comforting to sit down and talk with this amazing friend who had been through so much hardship and had made it through to the other side. 

I have been shown repeatedly over the last two days that the Lord hasn't forgotten us. On the contrary, He has been going through this with us. In our pain and despair, He has made sure not to leave us alone, or even let us feel that we're alone. He has mourned with us.  He knows how badly we want this, but He knows it's just not time yet.

So, here we are. Broken, devastated and confused, but also comforted, loved, and infused with trust. A new level of trust. A hope of things to come. 

To our little one, you were so loved by so many in your short time here and we will love you always. I know someday we will see you again and it will be a beautiful day. 

Adventures of a Dog-Mama

Well hello world! I figured you'd heard enough of me for a little while so I took a three-week hiatus from the blogging thing. But now we're back! With all kinds of "new adventures."

Our European Adventure is over. We still dream about Kaiserschmarn and gelato, but we have come to terms with the fact that real life has begun. Robbie started working FULL-TIME (What a big boy I married!) and while on the job-hunt myself, I have taken on a new role in life:

Dog-Mama.

Most of you know that within TWO DAYS of arriving home from our trip, Robbie and I were proud new owners of a little black beauty of a pup.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Two days!?! Are you guys insane?! Did you put ZERO thought into a huge decision like this?!" While it may look kind of rash, I will tell you, we put LOADS of thought into this. We have been putting loads into this from the first month that we were dating (November 2010) when we'd pass fenced-in pups as we walked down the street, both of us saying at the same time, "I want a dog so bad!" Ever since we got married (July 2012), we've talked about getting one ourselves. However, you can't really leave a puppy all alone for 6 and a half weeks while you go traipsing through Europe, so we waited. So of course, the very day we got home, it was only natural to start researching dog shelters and looking at puppies on ksl, right? Who needs downtime? However, I don't think either of us quite expected to find her so fast.

Meet Nuca. Our little black lab.

She is the most adorable thing, with the sweetest face, and gives the best snuggles. But it turns out, having a dog is a lot of work. Who knew? Our first night with her, we tried to make a diaper for her out of a spare rag and magnet clips (yep, we really thought that would work).

Five seconds later when she got that off, we decided she'd have to sleep in the kennel so she could learn to start controlling her bladder. We put her in the kennel to sleep, set our alarm for every two hours to take her out to go potty, and in the in between time, just laid in bed listening to her cry. It was saddest thing. We even went and laid next to her all night and tried to calm her down. I was so low on sleep those first few days that I felt like the walking dead. Neither of us admitted it until later, but inside our own heads that first night, we both thought to ourselves, "Did we made a mistake? I don't know if we are ready for this kind of responsibility."

And then I remembered that I'm 28. Some of my friends from high school have FOUR kids by now (along with two dogs, a cat, three goldfish, 2 hampsters, etc. etc.), and I am scared of taking care of a puppy. I have come up with a name for this condition that I'm pretty sure Robbie and I both happen to suffer from. FoBaGu or Fear of Being a Grown-up. Can you imagine what this condition is going to do to us when we have children? I mean, if we think puppies are hard we are in for a rude awakening. You can't just stick a baby in a cage if you need to leave for an hour. Right? I'm pretty sure I read that somewhere.

Anyway, back to the pup. She has now adjusted and is doing SO much better! We are head-over-heels crazy about her. In Romanian, Nuca means "nut." And goodness, it is an oh-so-appropriate name for her. This sweet thing loves to do all the following things:

• Eat grass like it is the last remaining food on earth (while she simultaneously ignores her dog food). 
• Chew holes in the carpet, while also periodically relieving herself on it. 
• Attack her leash anytime it is attached to her. 
• Chase her tail for weirdly long periods of time. It is the funniest thing in the world. 
• Take naps on the piano pedals (at least once a day).
• Bark at the empty water bottle that for some reason TERRIFIES her. 
• Jump on everyone that comes anywhere near her out of pure excitement.
• "Liz" or laugh/wiz meaning that she gets so excited sometimes that she pees without even realizing it.
• Lose her balance while standing on her hind legs, resulting in back somersaults all over the place. 
• Jump with all her might while standing underneath the coffee table. I think she might get a concussion.
• Drink water from the gutter on every walk despite my attempts to keep her from it.
• Use those sharp little puppy teeth a lot more often than we would like. 
• Climb up behind my head when riding in the car so she can ride on my shoulders and chew on my hair.
• Make friends with the black lab pup a couple houses down named Jake who is TWO DAYS older than her!
• Snuggle up to our necks and lick the inside of our ears, giving me the only wet-willy I've ever had.

Basically, she is everything we could have hoped for. We love her like crazy and are so happy we made the choice to get her. She is learning SO fast. She is already mostly potty-trained when we're at home. (When we're at someone else's house, we make her wear this adorable diaper that she hates with all the fire within her). She sleeps quietly at night now, and we just get up to take her out every 3-3.5 hours. She is learning "sit" pretty well and walking on a leash is becoming less of an annoyance to her. Our biggest goal right now is to end her puppy biting, but the vet said we should expect a few more months of that. 

Basically she is the greatest and is kind of like our medication for FoBaGu. Little by little, she is teaching us to embrace the grown-up life. :)

Day 45: Coming to America... Today!

Friday, August 23, 2013

Today's highlights:

-Plane

We are taking a plane home right now. If you made it this far, you are awesome! See ya soon America!

The end

Day 44: Last full day in Germany

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Today's highlights:

-Blogging

-Shopping

-Main Tower

-Saying goodbye

***Robbie here***

Well internets... This is it! Our last full day in Europe. We leave before the crack of dawn tomorrow, so it's la revedere to all of the awesome adventures we have had and guten tag to real life. Kinda sad, but we are also excited to get back home. 

Today we were so tired from all of this traveling that we decided, since we have been in Frankfurt before, that we would take it easy. Yeah, I said it. Turns out that after 44 days of travel, that we are dog tired. So we spent the entire morning in our hotel room, reading, watching CNN (only English channel), and catching up on the blog. We wrote for probably 3 hours. But guess what? We have written about every day of this trip. That's an accomplishment! Now we get to have this journal for the rest of our lives. Kudos to us. 

After becoming stir crazy in our hotel, we decided to go to a really cool shopping center in the middle of town. It was this gigantic 7-story mall! The inside looked like most malls, but the outside was a beaut. Check it. 

That's a tunnel of glass running straight through it! Pretty slick. But Angie and I aren't going to pretend that we like shopping, so we basically just walked around, annoying eager salespeople at each store by not even getting close to buying anything. 

After the mall we went to the Main Tower, a 54 story panorama view of the entire city! When we got to the top it was as if we could see every country we had visited. We obviously couldn't, but it felt like a fitting activity to do on our final day--just soak in the beauty of this amazing place and remember all of the cool experiences we had. 

So there you go everyone! Lets all hang out when we get back, and if you're lucky, we will annoy you with thousands of pictures and say things like "You call that a lasagna? That tastes nothing like an Italian lasagna! The real thing is 100 times better" You know, smug stuff like that. You will love us. Peace and Blessings. 

Day 42: Budapest, Hungary

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Today's highlights:

-Terror museum

-Fruit soup

-Seeing the city

***Robbie here***

First of all, here is what greeted us in the bathroom when we woke up this morning. How could your day not be great with a start like this?

Do you know another way to start the day? Nazis and Soviets! That is what we spent our morning learning about. So needless to say, it was a pretty positive way to start the day. We went to a really cool museum that used to be both the Nazi and Soviet headquarters while each regime controlled Budapest. There were so many Hungarian victims of genocide, work camps, deportation, and starvation. There were lots of video interviews of those who were affected. It was amazing to learn about a country that we didn't know much about. Another cool thing is that it was completely free! Normally the tickets cost about 10 bucks a piece, but today is some kind of Hungarian holiday so it was free 99. Win.

We gotta give a shout out to Bryan Brockbank. He gave us an awesome list of stuff to do--we wish we could've done it all but we loved what we did see. One of his recommendations was this classy buffet-style restaurant. This place was heaven. Trofea Grill. 

There was a salad bar, an entree bar (with some standard but also some true Hungarian foods), a to-order grill with shrimp, chicken, pork, beef, fish, even shark! We had it all, but the best thing that was there was the fruit soup. You read right. Fruit soup. This stuff had the consistency of milk with the taste of a cross between egg nog and a fruit smoothie. There was also this super good spice in it. Holy cow. I went back threw times just for a big cup of fruit soup. Amazing. Thanks Bry. 

After lunch/dinner (we ate enough for both), we rolled out of the restaurant and walked along the river that cuts Budapest in half. That's when we saw the parliament building. This place is gorgeous! It's a very ornate building right on the river banks. 

Here are a couple other sights we saw on the way. We were lucky because of the Hungarian holiday that everyone was out and about, and selling delish food and souvenirs.

Photo bomb

We then went to the fisherman's bastion and Matias' church. It's this huge church that is surrounded by a fortress with cool stone walls that everyone can walk on. It gives a great view of the city. 

We loved Hungary! Tomorrow we go back to Germany, which is bonkers that we have really been traveling for more than 40 days. That's a lot. Anyway, peace out Hungary!

Day 37: Sighisoara, Romania

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Today's highlights:

   -Sighisoara

   -Robbie's crazy cool trick

   -Late train and Gabi surprise

We left beautiful Brasov today! But we went to Sighisoara, another beautiul place that I've never been to so that was awesome! It is pretty small and so cute. It actually reminded me of Rothenburg back in Germany a lot, except with a Romanian twist. It's very medieval looking, with a huge city gate and watch tower and tons of beautiful old buildings. I loved it! 

When we first made it into the city gates, we saw a sign for "The Torture Room." We thought it was like a museum, and entrance was only 4 lei (a little over a dollar). Steal! We thought we totes lucked out until we walked in and then we understood why it was only 4 lei. It was literally one room, without a whole lot inside except signs that were mostly in other languages. 

Score. 

We did see some crazy pictures though of medieval torture techniques so......that was gross. 

There was also a sweet clock tower/watch tower overlooking the city. We climbed up it and on the railing all the way around it had little golden plaques that had the names of major world cities on them, the distance in kilometers it was from that spot, and an arrow telling you which direction. That kind of thing is cool for anyone, but FASCINATING for someone with no sense of direction.  Well done Sighisoara.

We spent the rest of the day exploring the city and then got some DELISH Romanian food at this cool restaurant. Sarmale again (of course) but this time with mamaliga (cornmeal mush that really has little to offer other than the sweet nostalgia it brings). Except then we decided to dine-and-dash when I accidentally broke the vase in their centerpiece. Okay, we didn't dine-and-dash, but I absolutely did break the vase with my soda bottle and I felt really bad. Oops!

After our exploring, we headed back to the train station and while we were waiting for our train to show up, Robbie decided to spend his time doing tricks. His first trick was trying to get the OPEN Fanta bottle into his mouth without using his hands from this position. Do you wanna guess what happened about three seconds after this picture was taken?

Needless to say, that was also his last trick. Fanta everywheres. 

Once we got him all cleaned up, we caught our train to Cluj. Our plan was to spend the night in Cluj and then the next day, see some sights and then in the afternoon meet up with Gabi Oanta. 

Gabi Oanta is the friendliest man that no one knows anything about. He is Romanian and lives in Arad, Romania and is super tight with all the members there and any missionaries that come through. His life, from what we have heard, is crazy and mysterious. Apparently he works for the government, some say as some part of a security agency (like the Romanian CIA or something), but who knows. He doesn't really talk about it. But because of his work, he's gone traveling a lot so we have both only met him once and neither of us know him super well. But he is super nice and is friends with all our mission friends so we wrote him awhile back to get some advice. And holy hannah, we got a lot more than advice! When we asked him if he knew of a cheap place to stay in Arad, he invited us to come stay with him! And then, he thought we could travel around a little more together. And then he thought we could go to the mountains together. Before we knew it, we had about three days worth of stuff we were doing with Gabi. Boo yeah! We knew this was bound to be a good time. Here he is in all his glory.

So like I said, our train arrived in Cluj late, around 11:30pm and we weren't planning on seeing Gabi until the next day. Well guess who was waiting for us at the train station as we rolled in, an hour later than expected? Yep, Gabi Oanta. He had come early as a surprise to take us to the mountains, a little village where his extended family lives called Rachitele. At midnight. Wow. What a guy. He would turn out to shock us with his goodness and hospitality. Such a great, great guy.

So the three of us, the former missionary we had hung out with in Buc (Morgan Ott), and Gabi's friend Vali (who had a car) drove to the Rachitele at midnight. Party of five. We didn't get to bed until about 2:00am and when we finally did we crashed hard. 

Day 41: Romania to Serbia to Hungary

Monday, August 19, 2013

Today's highlights:

   -A word on Fleas

   -Drove to Serbia

   -Lunch with Jessica!

   -Belgrade in an hour

   -Drove to Budapest

   -A word on Hospitality

Do you know what those are?

Those are flea bites. 

Do you want to know how many there are total on me now? 

33

Awesome. 

We were SO close to making it through this trip without fleas! SO close to victory! I think I'm being punished for my pessimistic attitude about those buggers. I was convinced it would happen. Self-fulfilling prophecy, I suppose. The sad part is that it's not just me this time. Every time I got fleas in the mission, somehow my companions miraculously never got a single bite. But this time Rob is suffering right along with me. Except he doesn't scratch his. And he has to repeatedly keep telling me not to scratch mine too, like the way you would tell a 2-year old not to pick their nose. I understand that it's bad, but sometimes I just can't help myself! 

So fleas aside, today was pretty great! We got to cover a lot of ground (like a LOT). Our plan was to leave Arad, Romania and hit Belgrade, Serbia AND Budapest, Hungary. And we did it, and it was crazy. We got to meet another of Gabi's super generous friends, Costa. He had a car and drove us that whole distance just because Gabi asked him to. What?! These people are so great! He was seriously hilarious and loved chatting the whole car ride. When we first met in the morning, I coughed and the first thing he said to me was, "Who on earth gets a cold in the SUMMER?!" (We were obviously meant to be friends). And then the whole car ride, he could not stop talking about how people were going to freak out on our flight home in a few days when they heard me cough and sneeze and they would try to jump out of the plane or throw me out so they don't get sick too. Yikes. Speaking of, I'm feeling a little bit better! Throat less hurty, mostly just the stuffy nose and the cough still (and some occasional sneezing). 

So we drove and drove and finally made it to Belgrade, Serbia around lunchtime. The main reason we went to Belgrade is to see a good friend of mine, Jessica, who works for the American Embassy there. Our original plan was to be dropped off by the boys (who also wanted to see Belgrade) and stay with her for at least that night, maybe two nights, and have a nice relaxing couple days of catching up and taking it easy with her while seeing this cool new place we knew nothing about. However, plans changed when Gabi found out that Robbie's passport has that expiration issue (remember how he almost couldn't get on the flight from Greece to Romania). We never understood why that was the only time it was a problem, but Gabi offered us an explanation. I'll try to make it quick but it's kind of complicated. Apparently, there is a union of countries within the European Union (like a club within a club) that travelers can move back and forth from without ever having to use their passports (almost like there are no borders between them). All the countries we have hit so far have been in that elite club. All except for Romania (hence the airport issue when we left Greece) and Serbia. Unfortunately, our flight back home is out of Frankfurt, Germany, which means that since we left the boundaries of that elite club, we have to get back into it before we can get home. Since Hungary is also in the club, if we could get across the border from Serbia to Hungary, then we would have no trouble getting from Hungary to Germany (no borders).  Whew! Long, complicated explanation. 

So Gabi was sure we would have problems getting into Hungary because of Rob's passport expiration date (again, learn from us. Renew your passports if they are even close to expiring!) Since Gabi works for the government, he wanted to be with us when we crossed that border so he could schmooze and use his connections to help us get across. Unfortunately, he could only do it today. Which means we didn't really have a choice. We couldn't stay in Belgrade. The way he was talking about it, we couldn't risk not getting across the border because worst case scenario who knows? We might have to order Rob a new passport and it might not come before our flight home and we might be stuck here begging on the streets for weeks until we could buy a new plane ticket home, digging through garbages for Fornetti remnants and we just didn't want to worry about it all.

So since we only had a couple hours to spend in Serbia, we met Jess for lunch at the embassy and it was SO great to see her. She was totally understanding of our situation, but we were both way bummed that we couldn't stay the night. We'll try to make it back Jess! 

This was my first time going into an embassy and it was intense! I guess it has to be though, since entrance to an embassy is basically like crossing a border. And we basically walked in with a huge posse. Once we got in, sweet Jess bought us all lunch and we just chatted away. She is the greatest.  

Once we left the embassy, we found a place to park for one hour, which means we were going to see all we could of this brand new city of Belgrade in one hour. ONE HOUR! Let me tell you, I wouldn't recommend speed-sight-seeing. We ran (literally) from place to place, not really having a ton of time to understand what we were looking at, and then running to the next thing before we could dwell on it. It was crazy! And as if that wasn't crazy enough, in the midst of it all, we lost Costa! It felt like losing a child. We searched all around for him before we finally found him. Oh Costa, always wandering off :)

Here are some of the sights we saw and things we learned in that quick hour:

Apparently, some Serbians don't really love Americans. It might have something to do with these buildings we bombed a few years back (I think in 2006 or 2007). It was over a really controversial issue, the US believed they were commiting genocide. They believed they were not. (There's more to it than that, but it's hard to explain briefly, so I will let you look it up). Anyway, because of that, there are some who still have a lot of beef with America. So much that as a precaution, Gabi told us to speak only in Romanian on the streets. I'm sure nothing would have happened, but just in case there was a crazy out there who felt like settling the score, we followed his advice. 

We also went this fortress that overlooked the city, and all over it were tanks and cannons from various wars they have fought over the years. It was crazy cool. 

And BNOTD (Best News Of The Day), Robbie found Fanta Shokata, his favorite soda drink from the mission that he has been looking for ever since we got to Europe! This alone will make him look back on our time in Serbia with love and tenderness. 

Back to the car! This is when we made the LONG drive from Belgrade to Budapest. These guys were seriously so amazing. Not only did they take us across the border, but then when we insisted we could take a train the rest of the way to Budapest, they threw us back in the car and drove us all the way there themselves! We didn't even make it to Budapest until around 11:00pm and then they still had to drive all the way back to Arad, Romania that night! They are the stinkin best, most generous people in the world. Even when we got to our hotel, Gabi marched right up to our room with a worker while we were checking in just to personally see to it that the room met his standards. Are you kidding me?! What a great guy. I don't know if he will ever read this but we seriously need to dedicate some space just to Gabi and how good he has been to us over the last few days. He always made sure we were taken care of (even when it was clearly not his job), he gave us food, beds, rides, fun, new friends, and so much more. He's a busy guy and hardly knew us, but he went above and beyond in showing us a part of Romania (and other counties) that we had never experienced before. This trip has totally changed the way we view hospitality and making visitors feel at home in your house. When we told him how grateful we have been for all he's done for us, he just said that he has had an awesome life because of the goodness of others, and that he has received way more than he has given. I don't know if I believe that, but I do believe that people here are raised to be good and kind and generous to everyone they meet. They see service as this amazing opportunity to show someone as much love as possible rather than act annoyed or put off or even indifferent. When we grow up, we want to be like Gabi. And the Matei's. And Sora Gorzo. And Rosie. And all these other amazing people we have met.